Dear Kallos: One of my friend’s parents recently got divorced. I’m very worried for her, what should I do?

One of my friend’s parents recently got divorced, and now she has to do a lot more things at home and be a ‘mother’ to her sister. Her father is very busy, so she has to do most of the housework. I’m very worried for her, what should I do?
– Concerned

dear Concerned,

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s difficulties. Yet, she is blessed to have a friend in you who wants to tangibly extend help to her. 

Divorce is a big blow to families and the pain of it often follows each family member for a long time. Someone outside of the family would find it hard to really understand how that family works and what kind of culture they have. Personally, I think it is important to watch our words and reactions, so that we don’t make the other person feel worse or judged by us. A good guide is to be quick to listen and slow to speak (Jas 1:19). Although you may not fully understand what your friend is going through, your heartfelt presence and care can make a world of difference for her. 

One way to help her may be to suggest talking to a counsellor in school. Although divorce in families can be a very private matter, talking about it with someone whom she can trust to keep things confidential can help to clear doubts or manage fear and hurt. Your friend will eventually have to walk through her possible emotions of hurt, anger, and guilt, and having someone like a counsellor who is trained to journey with her can be very helpful. 

On your part, you can write about Bible verses that have been helpful to you as a source of encouragement to her. Share about our good God who is faithful and will never ever leave her (Heb 13:5). Share your own stories of how God has been close to you and encourage her to call out to God on her own.

Finally, pray. Pray that she will know that she is valuable, and the divorce is not her fault. Pray for opportunities to share the gospel with her, so that she can have an eternal hope in Christ. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. God hears and He is working even if we don’t see it. Even if it may seem that you may not be able to directly help your friend in her current difficulties, your friendship can offer a soothing balm for her soul. Keep being a good friend and trust God to take care of her too!

Alina Teo
I am a mother of two littles. Some things that I love — vintage florals, mountains, cooking, sewing and writing. I have a heart for the broken and I take comfort in knowing that Christ can be our hope.

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