Dear Kallos: My Parents Banned Me From Talking To My Guy Friend

My parents have banned me from talking to a close guy friend because he used to be in a gang and has a lot of vices. I think I am in love with him and feel depressed. I pray and believe that God will change him. What should I do? — In Love and Confused

dear In Love and Confused,

It is great to hear that you are believing God to change your close guy friend to be more Christ-like and you have been praying for him. However, it is important to remember that only God can change a person.

Being open to someone changing doesn’t mean trying to take things into your own hands and to make things better for him. Rather, it is about trusting God to change the person in His own time and way. Only God can. Are you willing to take a back seat and trust God to work in his life?

God always wants us to walk in the light, but He also gives us the freedom to make our own choices. He does not force us to do things we don’t want to. However, our choices may end up hurting us or others, and make Him sad. Your friend has to choose for himself the kind of life he wants to lead. If he chooses not to change his current lifestyle, remember that God may still be working in ways you cannot see.

You mentioned that you feel in love with him. Sometimes, emotions can sway us without us realising. Perhaps you can take a step back and re-evaluate your priorities. Is this friendship a healthy one? Is he helping you become more Christ-like?

Although it feels like your parents may be overly restrictive at times, know that they love you and are looking out for you. Often, can’t tell if we are being influenced in a positive or negative way. The people around us are the ones who can see our blind spots and guide us. Seeking counsel from your trusted friends and a counsellor can give you new perspective. Keep sharing your life so that these people can walk alongside you!

Remember: when we pray, we are choosing to surrender and commit our all to God. He is sovereign in all things, which means that all things are possible to Him. Consider asking God to help you surrender this situation to Him, obey your parents, and walk in His perfect ways and will.

Alina Teo
I am a mother of two littles. Some things that I love — vintage florals, mountains, cooking, sewing and writing. I have a heart for the broken and I take comfort in knowing that Christ can be our hope.

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