Dear Kallos: I Feel Like I Am Losing A Really Good Friend Who Doesn’t Value Me Anymore

I’ve been feeling really depressed lately, and I think that it’s because I feel like I’m losing a really good friend who doesn’t value me anymore. I tried talking to him about it, but it didn’t seem to work. I don’t know how to express how I feel and I hope I’m just overthinking it. But what if I’m not? — Hurt and Confused

dear Hurt and Confused,

The uncertainty of the friendship and how you feel undervalued must be very difficult to bear. I’m sorry you have to feel this pain.

It does sound like your friend wants some space and there may or may not be a clear reason why. Sometimes guys just need their space. Or perhaps he is going through something difficult and doesn’t want to share it just yet. Be patient and act out of love instead of fear.

You have already raised the topic and shown you care, so I believe that when your friend is ready to talk, he would. One thing you can do as a good friend is to let him know you’re there for him and you hope to share his burden, but you will respect the space he might want.

Remember that there are others around you who care deeply for you! This might be a good point to also focus on the other friendships you have and invest in them. There are some friendships that are for specific seasons in our lives, while others may last for a long time.

Through it all, I pray that your worth would be found in Christ and not in how another person might value you. As humans, we will all fail one another. Only Christ will always fully fulfil our deepest longings of being loved and valued.

Don’t be disheartened, sister! Hang on to the hope of this friendship that means a lot to you, but hang on even tighter to God who will carry you through every storm and knows what you need before you even utter it (Matt 6:8). Let God carry this burden with you. Go to Him in prayer and let Him give you His peace.

Alina Teo
I am a mother of two littles. Some things that I love — vintage florals, mountains, cooking, sewing and writing. I have a heart for the broken and I take comfort in knowing that Christ can be our hope.