Love & Sexuality: How Do You Know If A Guy Is “The One” God Has Given You?

Issue 33  //  · 

“How do you know if a guy is “the one” God has given you?”

This is a question that I’m sure most girls have! I affirm your desire to discern God’s “right guy” for you, but the truth is that there isn’t just that “one” guy for you who, if missed, would make anyone else a wrong choice. That said, there are some things to consider when praying and thinking about whether a guy is a good choice for you:

1. Calling
… in terms of identity
As God’s children, we are drawn to love Him and walk in His ways (1 Pet 2:9; Matt 22:37–38). Does this guy encourage you to love God more and actively seek out people who will help him to love God more?

… in terms of vocation
Some of you may have received a specific calling from God, for example, to be a social worker or a doctor. You don’t need to have the same vocation, but would you be willing and able to affirm and support each other’s callings?

2. Compatibility
Sharing your faith and values is as important as having fitting personalities or “chemistry”. What you believe and what you think is important undergird all your decisions and responses. Are your beliefs, values and life goals compatible?

This is a question that I’m sure most girls have!

3. Communication
Are you both able to be genuine and honest with each other? Can you handle conflicts together in a way that pleases God?

Seeking God first will develop depth in your perspective. As I prayed through my own relationship, God surfaced important issues we had to work through, and it was through the passage of time, understanding each other better, and finding alignment in our faith, values and goals that I sensed God affirming me to say, “Yes” when my boyfriend proposed.

On top of that, the input we can get from our church leaders, pastors and parents are invaluable and should not be overlooked. They can often see things about ourselves and our relationships that we are not able to see. Don’t be afraid to seek their advice and be open to what they have to say.

So, keep asking God every step of the way. And remember that even if you take a “wrong” step. He will surely redirect you to the right path (Psa 139:23-24).