Dear Kallos: How Do I Overcome Discouragement With School Results?

Issue 29  // 

How do I overcome discouragement with results that don’t meet my expectations, especially when it means I can’t enter my dream school? – Disappointed

dear Disappointed,

When I was in school, I wasn’t a student who aced all my exams even though I studied hard. I fought many battles in my mind trying to remind myself that God is in control and He has my best interests at heart. Yet, the reality of getting dissatisfactory grades and feeling like I wasn’t good enough was very difficult.

My perspective changed when I understood that what I deem as “the best” for me may not always align with what God knows is the best for me. He sees the big picture and cares for every small detail of my life. Instead of asking myself whether my results are good enough and where they could take me, I realised that the question should be, Do I trust God to lead me to the best place He has for me in this season? What can seem a huge discouragement now might actually be a brilliant stroke by God on the beautiful canvas of your life!

All that being said, it is still important to work hard and truly give your best in all that you do. It does not mean being idle. I believe God wants to work with us hand in hand, to “perfect that which concerns” us (Ps 138:8 NKJV).

Trust God to bring you through this season with His grace and lead you to the next with beauty and strength. Lay down all your expectations and take up Christ.

Dear Kallos, many celebrities have been breaking up recently and it makes me afraid of getting into a relationship. What do I do?  – Afraid to Hope

dear Afraid to Hope,

I understand your fear, but there is so much beauty in loving and being loved that it overshadows the fear of being hurt. The truth is that when we open ourselves to loving someone, it is hard work! When two sinful people come together and rub shoulders, friction happens, and when that happens, it is easy to feel like walking away.

But love is more than an emotion — it is a commitment. Christ could have chosen to walk away from the cross, but He chose to faithfully endure it to the end because He is committed to us. When we step into a relationship, we are choosing to commit to loving the other and giving ourselves. When we see it that way, a relationship is not something to walk away from just because it is difficult or inconvenient; it is one where we selflessly, like Christ, choose to love our partner every day.

That said, as Christians, this is with the understanding that we should not date flippantly, getting in and out of relationships as we so please. We need to value the other person as Christ would value him and also seek wise and godly counsel before we get into a relationship and also as we are going through it. Lastly, listening closely to what God has to say about whom we choose to date and marry is part of our journey of obedience.

Knowing that our anchor is Christ and not merely leaning on our own ability to sustain a good relationship, we can step into a relationship without fear!

Alina Teo
I am a mother of two littles. Some things that I love — vintage florals, mountains, cooking, sewing and writing. I have a heart for the broken and I take comfort in knowing that Christ can be our hope.

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