It’s great that you are thinking of revealing your struggles to someone! Breaking out of sexual habits and addictions is a journey, often with victories and failures. When we pluck up the courage to confess a hidden sin, it is true that we often continue in our sins as it takes time to work through our brokenness and pain. However, that does not mean that ‘nothing happens’. The very act of being vulnerable and courageous enough to share with someone means something: You are no longer struggling alone. You now have a friend or leader to confide in, pray for you, and ask you the tough questions that only someone who loves you would bother to.
James encourages us in his letter to confess our sins to one another and pray for each other, that we may be healed (Jas 5:16). He may have been referring to physical sicknesses linked to sins, but I believe it also refers to the healing of our souls. He went on to say that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful. So, the point of confessing our sexual sins is not to expect an instant solution, but to welcome our church family to walk with us in prayer till we receive healing and victory! Don’t be discouraged!
Thank you for asking this question! This is what one youth leader shared with us:
“I faced this fear before too as I was afraid of what my leaders or friends would think of me if I shared about this area of sin in my life with them.
However, I decided to pluck up the courage to share my struggles with trusted leaders as my desire to live a life free from guilt and shame was greater than my fear of judgement from others. I wanted to live out God’s purposes for my life and I knew that sin would hinder me. Also, I told myself that voices of judgement and accusation were not from God as His desire was for me to be healed, accepted, and to belong.
I took the bold step and confessed my history of sexual sin to one of my leaders and one of my friends.
Instead of judgement and condemnation, I was surprised by how they didn’t look any differently at me and that they had a genuine heart of love and compassion to want to reach out to help me. One of them prayed for me and I felt that God was healing my mind of all the sexual imagery and plucking out the root of sexual sin in my life. I felt really refreshed and cleansed after. It has been 9-10 years since, and I thank God that through prayer, perseverance, accountability, and picking myself up when I fell, I am able to live a life of freedom and purity today.”