Dear Kallos: I Often Feel That I Don’t Measure Up To Others — I Never Feel Good Enough

“I often feel that I don’t measure up to others, and I never feel good enough. I keep these thoughts to myself, but I feel like comparing myself to my friends has become a habit I can’t kick. I don’t want to be stuck in this comparison game, but I don’t know how to get out. Help!” – Stuck  

dear Stuck,

The first thing I want you to know is that you are good enough! No matter what you may feel or think, you are good enough because you are made in the image of God (Gen 1:27). God made you the way you are for a great purpose and I believe it saddens His heart that you want to be someone else. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are to “praise God because [we are] fearfully and wonderfully made; God’s works are wonderful, [we] know that full well”. You may have come across this verse before, but look at the words carefully and let these truths speak to your heart. God made you with such delight and you are His wonderful workmanship (Eph 2:10)! In this generation where social media is such a big part of our lives, comparing ourselves to others may come naturally and it can be crippling when we think about all the ways we don’t measure up to others. During these moments, seeing ourselves from God’s perspective is so key and liberating. Our security is found in Christ who loves us just as we are and who has given each of us different talents for His purposes (1 Pet 4:10). God didn’t make a mistake with you, dear sister. You don’t have to compare yourself with anyone else! 

Is forgiveness really that important? Some days, it feels impossible to forgive no matter how hard I try. What can I do about it? – Hurt

dear Hurt,

I’m sorry that you have been hurt and are struggling to forgive, but thank you for your honest question. Forgiving is never easy, and it is especially difficult when the hurt is deep. So why do we still do it? Ephesians 4:32 tells us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. Just as Christ set the example for us by forgiving others, we as disciples should do likewise, and in doing so, we are showing the world who our God is — One who is gracious and full of love. That is the reason why we forgive even when it feels so difficult! In moments like that, there are a few things we can do.

Firstly, confess your bitterness to God. Tell Him, “God, I’m sorry for bearing a grudge against _______. I forgive _______ for ________. I commit this person into your hands.” It is a simple prayer, but there is so much power in confession and you might be surprised how difficult it is to even utter these words. Secondly, pray continuously for the person whom you feel has wronged you. As you ask God to bless him or her, I believe that your heart will slowly soften again to love the person as Christ does. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is something that Christ has modelled for us to follow. Don’t give up; persevere in forgiveness. We pray that this relationship will be restored soon and filled with the love of God. 

Alina Teo
I am a mother of two littles. Some things that I love — vintage florals, mountains, cooking, sewing and writing. I have a heart for the broken and I take comfort in knowing that Christ can be our hope.

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